The Past, and the Future
I had a very dear old friend of mine contact me through my website this morning. For religious reasons we're unable to stay in contact anymore, but every now and then I get a note from her, and it always warms my heart...
I had planned to blog this weekend, but nothing came to mind to chat about until I got her note. It made me think about the past, and how we all deal with it, or don't, as we see fit. Even how people sometimes judge each other about how they deal with their pasts.. something that I've never quite understood...
My past is certainly a mixed bag. Looking back, I wish it were different. I'm sure we all do. There are several choices I would have made otherwise knowing what I know now. In fact, my past has inspired an idea for a novel that I hope to pursue someday, something of a It's a Wonderful Life meets The Butterfly Effect. It begs the question, "Even it we could change our pasts, should we?"
I am who I am today because of my past, and despite my many faults, I like me. If I could go back and change my past, who would I be then? As corny a the lines from Star Trek can often be, Kirk had it right in the one movie everyone loves to hate when he said, "I need my pain. It makes me who I am." And it does... for better or for worse... it does.
I watched Into the Wild this weekend. To be honest, I had always avoided that movie, and the book, because I knew that the protagonist was going to be made into a hero, and of course he was. I always thought he was a frickin idiot, and of course he was, so that made watching it a bit of an ordeal for me. In particular, the movie lays heavy blame for who or what he became on his parents. This I grow tired of; it reminds me of my siblings. In general, I feel parents sincerely try to do what's best; they are a part of our past as well. But who we are depends on us, not them. It's just another part of our growth, not the reason for it...
Which also leads to the book I've been reading, Soulcraft. A couple of chapters ago it talked about "healing work with the sacred wound." I've never really subscribed to digging into the past unnecessarily, although many do. We all have our wounds, some are worse than others, and they will always influence who we are. But is there any benefit to reopening an old wound? We definitely should work to heal those that are still raw and bleeding, but at some point, time truly does heal all wounds... doesn't it?
So if our past makes us who we are today, I say embrace it. I've done things I regret.. I'm sure I'll do more in the future and live to regret them as well. But for now, I keep moving forward. My breadth of experience provides inspiration and example for my writing, and I plan to gain as much of that as I can before I leave this place. The protagonist from Into the Wild had it right on one point, we do need experiences, and I think people wither without them. But I think we can have more than enough without harming others in the process, or blaming others for our faults.
Who knows what the future holds, but I'm ready for it. My past has made me so; of this I'm grateful.
I'm also grateful for friends. Thanks for the note. All the best to you as well....
I had planned to blog this weekend, but nothing came to mind to chat about until I got her note. It made me think about the past, and how we all deal with it, or don't, as we see fit. Even how people sometimes judge each other about how they deal with their pasts.. something that I've never quite understood...
My past is certainly a mixed bag. Looking back, I wish it were different. I'm sure we all do. There are several choices I would have made otherwise knowing what I know now. In fact, my past has inspired an idea for a novel that I hope to pursue someday, something of a It's a Wonderful Life meets The Butterfly Effect. It begs the question, "Even it we could change our pasts, should we?"
I am who I am today because of my past, and despite my many faults, I like me. If I could go back and change my past, who would I be then? As corny a the lines from Star Trek can often be, Kirk had it right in the one movie everyone loves to hate when he said, "I need my pain. It makes me who I am." And it does... for better or for worse... it does.
I watched Into the Wild this weekend. To be honest, I had always avoided that movie, and the book, because I knew that the protagonist was going to be made into a hero, and of course he was. I always thought he was a frickin idiot, and of course he was, so that made watching it a bit of an ordeal for me. In particular, the movie lays heavy blame for who or what he became on his parents. This I grow tired of; it reminds me of my siblings. In general, I feel parents sincerely try to do what's best; they are a part of our past as well. But who we are depends on us, not them. It's just another part of our growth, not the reason for it...
Which also leads to the book I've been reading, Soulcraft. A couple of chapters ago it talked about "healing work with the sacred wound." I've never really subscribed to digging into the past unnecessarily, although many do. We all have our wounds, some are worse than others, and they will always influence who we are. But is there any benefit to reopening an old wound? We definitely should work to heal those that are still raw and bleeding, but at some point, time truly does heal all wounds... doesn't it?
So if our past makes us who we are today, I say embrace it. I've done things I regret.. I'm sure I'll do more in the future and live to regret them as well. But for now, I keep moving forward. My breadth of experience provides inspiration and example for my writing, and I plan to gain as much of that as I can before I leave this place. The protagonist from Into the Wild had it right on one point, we do need experiences, and I think people wither without them. But I think we can have more than enough without harming others in the process, or blaming others for our faults.
Who knows what the future holds, but I'm ready for it. My past has made me so; of this I'm grateful.
I'm also grateful for friends. Thanks for the note. All the best to you as well....
Hi Peter, as always a thought provoker of a post. This is my third attempt at saying something, but what? Okay, lets see, I knew a guy, such a smooth axe played who liked to wear black, do calculus and disappear in his music. I loved him. He died in 1999 by his own hand and his past killed him as surely as I type this. Now, he is part of my past and it's given me a burning need to breathe more deeply, both for myself and for people who can't anymore. Sometimes I think people gorge on the past too much, while starving in the present.
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Hmm.. you're probably right.. I don't think people should restrict their futures based on their past, nor blame others for them either.. and yet I dwell on it perhaps too much myself.. interesting.. Thanks Val!
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It's interesting that while we cannot change the past we can, and do, reshape our personal histories by assigning different importances and meanings to the same events as we change over time.
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Then perhaps the past is a bit fluid afterall. Thanks Stu.
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I really enjoyed this post and the last one, Peter. Sometimes I see our past like a spiral staircase; we may come around to the same theme or scenerio or challenge and I believe it is the deepest part of ourselves, the one that knows inexplicably what is needed, trying to heal the sacred wound. I don't think the sacred wound is what our parents did to us, or what anyone did for that matter. I believe our sacred wound is the part of us that yearns to heal and to learn the lesson(s) we are here to learn. Every time we round the staircase and gaze back at the familiar challenge or situation, although it seems identical "why am I here again??" we are, in fact, in a different place on the stair case and our vantage point is different as well. We are back here because we didn't fully master what the lesson (which comes from within and is not being done to us) was trying to teach us, IMHO. We yearn for wholeness and we will create those situations that call us to grow and stretch and be courageous about opening our hearts, finding compassion and living fully. I believe we enter into sacred pacts with certain people--which is not to say we will spend the rest of our lives with them, necessarily, but that we will help each other evolve and get to the next level of our respective journeys. Your last post about going to the bottom--literally and figuratively with your job situation-is thought provoking. I have watched you move through this very challenging situation with amazing grace and courage. I believe you needed this experience and that you will move into a better place. It is wonderful to witness your journey and exciting to wonder what lies ahead for each of us who are awake and alive enough to move forward toward healing despite the obstacles (or because of them).--Britton
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Thanks for the encouragement
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