I've been reading a book called Soulcraft, by Bill Plotkin.  An excellent read for me right now, as, like Kris noted on my last blog entry, to some degree, I stand at a crossroads of my life.  As everybody has noted with encouragement, I think my feet will land firmly again.. but the question of where they'll land is at this time a total unknown.

When I think about that, the first thought that crosses my mind is the "where" of life.. where will my feet land in my career.. my place in the world.. my dreams..

But, as I've noted before, my search for my place in the world has always been a physical search as well...

I've often discounted my physical search to some degree.. attributing it to one thing or another that's happening in my life as to why this place or another didn't feel like home at the time.  I remember years ago telling a friend of mine that thought she'd move and start her life over, "If you're not happy with yourself here, you won't be happy with yourself somewhere else."  Seemed to make sense at the time; you need to find peace with yourself before you go searching the world.  Maybe... then again.. maybe not...

What is home..?

Michigan was my home for most of my life.  But now when I go back.. it doesn't feel like home anymore.  When I left Alaska, I didn't expect to return.  But two years ago when I visited for a friend's wedding, I remember walking down the streets of Anchorage well after midnight with the sun still in the sky, and I felt a nostalgia for home that I had never felt when I lived there...

What is home..? 

Are we destined to live in a particular place...?  Is there a "home" out there for each of us..?

Back to Soulcraft... I came across this paragraph the other day:

"'A particular place' also means a specific physical location.  The Australian aborigines, for example, say that for each person there is one place in the natural world where he most belongs, a place that's part of him and where he is part of that place.  In finding that place, he also finds his true self."

Wow.. so that floored me.  Is there a place I'm meant to be.. and, I guess, more importantly, is now the time to find it?

I'm not sure.. but I know I need to factor that into my decisions from here foreword.  Especially because of what Mr. Plotkin said on the next page, "When the soul is heard but not engaged, we fall into a type of sorrow, a soul depression."

I think I was there in Alaska, which is why I left... which makes the nostalgia even more ironic.  Either way, I don't ever want to be there again...

Where is my home..? 

I guess I'm still looking... Or maybe, for me.. that's it... the search itself.. can that be a "home"..?

I don't know.. but I plan to keep looking... until I find it.. which.. I will.. in time...

Right..?