Doing unto others...
I've been thinking a lot this past week about how we...really how I...treat others and my place in the world.
Even though I was brought up in a fundamentalist Christian household, I've expanded my horizons in the last few years to encompass a spiritual world beyond that...and I'm a better person for it. But even as I continue to search, I find that there is one belief...one tenant of humanity...that seems to bind us all, regardless of what we profess. I think this one basic principle is coded into the genes of all of us...helping us as a species to survive.
Regardless of how you word it, we all feel.. or should feel... that how you treat others is the most revealing character about who you are as a member of the human race. Regardless of what you say, what you do speaks louder to who you are. Hell, it pretty much screams it from the rooftops...
There's a character in the book I'm working on right now that treats women as just another object in his life. A good friend of mine read what I have to date, and asked me if this was my attitude toward women. Believe me, it's not. I think that's a challenge as a writer, that sometimes we have to write characters that we don't like either. In fact writing this one has been uncomfortable for me since it's so far from my nature. I had someone ask me last week something similar about a character from my first novel, and it caught be by surprise. That's probably what started me thinking about this topic. Can an author be separate from his characters? How does he write them if he is? And what does it say about him?
I would like to think we can be a student of humanity without become those things we observe... at least I hope so. Since I've started writing, I've spent a lot more time watching others, and listening to others stories.. so much so that's it's gotten me into trouble sometimes. But neither do I want to become some of those I write about... and so I live variously through those I observe...or at least how I think they're acting. I know of writers who have immersed themselves in a lifestyle so that they could write about it...but I don't know that I'm ready to go down that road.
There has to be balance between experiencing life and maintaining your inner core. I'm trying to find that...
Granted, there are times in the past when I didn't do as I should have, and I look back on those times with regret. There's some benefit to be gained there because I've been able to write those emotions into my characters, and I think it gives them a breadth of life they would not otherwise have. Still, the end does not justify the means...
But what I regret most, I think, are those times when I should have spoken and did not. Why is it for some of us the written word flows so easily...and yet our tongues become twisted with what we should have said...especially went we finally get the courage to say it...only too late...
Still, in the end, I would like to be judged first by my actions, and I find that trait in others more trustworthy than anything they say. That's what I would like to be remembered for, and I feel comfortable with it. Words can change...but, for better or for worse, how we've treated others never will.
Are you comfortable with how you're treating others? Where is your place in the world...?
Even though I was brought up in a fundamentalist Christian household, I've expanded my horizons in the last few years to encompass a spiritual world beyond that...and I'm a better person for it. But even as I continue to search, I find that there is one belief...one tenant of humanity...that seems to bind us all, regardless of what we profess. I think this one basic principle is coded into the genes of all of us...helping us as a species to survive.
Regardless of how you word it, we all feel.. or should feel... that how you treat others is the most revealing character about who you are as a member of the human race. Regardless of what you say, what you do speaks louder to who you are. Hell, it pretty much screams it from the rooftops...
There's a character in the book I'm working on right now that treats women as just another object in his life. A good friend of mine read what I have to date, and asked me if this was my attitude toward women. Believe me, it's not. I think that's a challenge as a writer, that sometimes we have to write characters that we don't like either. In fact writing this one has been uncomfortable for me since it's so far from my nature. I had someone ask me last week something similar about a character from my first novel, and it caught be by surprise. That's probably what started me thinking about this topic. Can an author be separate from his characters? How does he write them if he is? And what does it say about him?
I would like to think we can be a student of humanity without become those things we observe... at least I hope so. Since I've started writing, I've spent a lot more time watching others, and listening to others stories.. so much so that's it's gotten me into trouble sometimes. But neither do I want to become some of those I write about... and so I live variously through those I observe...or at least how I think they're acting. I know of writers who have immersed themselves in a lifestyle so that they could write about it...but I don't know that I'm ready to go down that road.
There has to be balance between experiencing life and maintaining your inner core. I'm trying to find that...
Granted, there are times in the past when I didn't do as I should have, and I look back on those times with regret. There's some benefit to be gained there because I've been able to write those emotions into my characters, and I think it gives them a breadth of life they would not otherwise have. Still, the end does not justify the means...
But what I regret most, I think, are those times when I should have spoken and did not. Why is it for some of us the written word flows so easily...and yet our tongues become twisted with what we should have said...especially went we finally get the courage to say it...only too late...
Still, in the end, I would like to be judged first by my actions, and I find that trait in others more trustworthy than anything they say. That's what I would like to be remembered for, and I feel comfortable with it. Words can change...but, for better or for worse, how we've treated others never will.
Are you comfortable with how you're treating others? Where is your place in the world...?
Hi Peter, I agree with you, it's not what one says but what one does that carries the weight. In the end, that's our living record, our deeds.
Regarding characters and opposing traits to the writers who create them, I feel only truly empathetic as well as empathic people can do this and do it well. It's important to look through the eyes of the character you are trying to give life to, or it won't have any authenticity. No breath. Readers can see through instantly.
In answer to your questions, Sometimes I'm content with how I treat others and sometimes I'm not. I think inner growth in this department depends entirely on not making a distinction between a friend or foe. To treat everyone the same, with grace and respect is the ideal. Obviously I'm not saintly enough for that yet.
My place in the world is humble. My meat and potatoes job is as lowly as you can get, although I do own the business. The work is honest and there is purity in that. I feel if I were suddenly thrust into the world of wealth, I would still prefer to associate with working class people. I'm a snob in reverse I suppose.
You certainly do have some thought provoking posts Peter.
Reply to this
interesting question(s). i think the answer to the first lies in how talented the writer is. i've read people who've starred themselves in their books...so there's no way to separate the writer from the character. others, undoubtedly more skilled, build 3-D characters completely outside the framework of self.
my mantra at school is "be kind, loving, and compassionate." and when i catch myself being sarcastic or witty, i remind myself to be kind, loving, and compassionate. It scares me to death knowing all the stories out there about teachers scarring kids for life because of careless comments...it doesn't mean i'm perfect. but i definitely try to be aware.
Reply to this
Writers must study human nature in order to write about them. Otherwise their characters would have no depth. Actors must study the characters they are going to become for the upcoming role in order to become "believable." Some go as far to add weight to make their roles credible to their audience. Just because you are writing about a character who treats people (women) less than what society deems acceptable doesn't mean that is how you feel, it means you are observing humans and are penning what you see. I would expect nothing less from you. I think people will need to separate the author from the person.
As for how do we treat others. It's all about life's lessons. I think we take what God has given us and learn from it. We learn from the mistakes the first time around and when the opportunity presents itself again, no matter how difficult, we remember what was lost and lay it out there.
My work with special needs children is the most rewarding I could have ever imagined. To watch children who were never given a chance and to watch them excel beyond what the mainstream says they will achieve gives me such a satisfaction. To find the success in every child to learn, provides me with a joy that is truly indescribable. My place is to believe is all children and to find the avenues to their learning, unlock the door that is stopping them and when the door is opened, stand back and watch the love of learning take place.
Reply to this
Well spoken, Mr. Masson.
Reply to this