I've been riding my bicycle along the American River pathway in Sacramento a lot ever since I moved here a couple of months ago. It's about the best exercise I can get until my ankle is back up to running...
The trail is smooth and paved, but some of the corners can be rather sharp. Still, the longer I ride, the more familiar I become with the trail, and the faster I've begun taking the corners. When I first started, I was nervous about sand or gravel, and having the bike slip... but the more I ride.. it becomes less of an issue...
Just like riding a motorcycle, the faster you take a corner, the more you need to lean the bike over. And I have to admit.. I don't like that part... It made me realize that some of the things I enjoy most in life.. sailing, riding my motorcycle, bicycling.. require quite a bit of heel... or lean.. the faster you go. And whether it's a sailboat.. or a bike.. I don't like it... I feel unstable and uncomfortable.. I want to straighten it back out... but if I were to do that.. I'd go off course.. maybe crash.. it's a no-win scenario..
But what does that desire to be upright and stable say about me? I'll admit.. I don't consider myself a risk taker. I remember talking to a free face mountain climber once in an outdoor store, and I asked him, "Doesn't that scare you?" His reply: "Of course it does. If it didn't I could get the same thrill walking down the sidewalk." True, and perhaps astute, but I'm not ready to go climb a mountain... at least not yet.
On the other hand, I'd hardly consider myself a homebody. Of everyone in my family, I've traveled more than anyone, done crazier things than anyone.. people think I live a life of adventure, and I guess I do.. but I still get nervous about the lean...
I guess I'm going to have to relax and get used to it. I'm sure I can.. The more you do something, the more comfortable it becomes. Sailing my boat this weekend in some pretty heavy winds on Puget Sound, I was pretty nervous at first.. it had been a while and the boat was heeling over quite a bit... but then I got more comfortable with it. Still, once you get used to a new position.. it does make me wonder... well, what do you do next? Or maybe there is nothing else.. I doubt it.. but that would be worse..
The only way to change yourself.. to change the world.. is to first move things off kilter.. and then see where they are when they straighten back up. I'm not suggesting anything revolutionary or violent.. rather just asking questions about why things are the way they are and whether they should remaining that way just because they always have been. Learn them over a bit mentally, examine them closely, and see whether they stand up or fall down. If you hold course.. sooner or later the wind is going to beat the shit out of you.. but if you watch it.. observe it.. work with it.. you'll get where you want to go.. and might be surprised by the path that gets you there...
Sooner or later, I guess, we all end up in the drink. I guess if I'm gonna go.. I'd like it to be on the way to an adventure....